aka, the 5 stages of grief, lock-pick style…
8 Year Old Boy Child (aka Mr. Innocent in the picture) Mom, the bathroom’s locked but the key’s not working!
Me: Let me try. *tries but key doesn’t go in. Tries to shove key in* Did you stick anything in here besides the key?
8YO: No. (aka Denial)
Me: We’ll have to wait for dad. *goes back over to work & notices the missing paperclip that was holding papers together* Are you sure you didn’t put anything in the lock? Like a paperclip?
Me: Where’s the paperclip? *repeat this line of questioning for 1/2 hour, until my threats of searching the garbage to find paperclip with broken piece leads to next claim that paperclip supposedly broke *not* inside the lock, then eventually leads to…*
8YO: You’re going to be mad.
*insert yelling here* (aka Anger)
8YO: Okay, I was watching this YouTube video on hacking and they were showing how to open a lock with a paperclip. *pauses and asks with straight, cute face* Does this mean I can’t get that toy you have hidden in the box upstairs? (aka Bargaining Stage)
Me: In the box you weren’t supposed to look in? So no. Definitely not.
8YO: I’m so mad at myself! (aka Depression)
Me: *calls locksmith*
Locksmith: You should never have a doorknob on a bathroom door that requires a key.
Me: *in surprisingly controlled voice* You installed it.
Locksmith: I found the piece of paperclip inside the lock. Your son actually did a good job – he just didn’t have the right tool. *shows the right tool*
Me to Zoo: I guess we should buy him one and give him a doorknob to practice on. (aka Acceptance)