Dear Sinus infection I knew I’d get from my son, 

You suck.

Dear Doctor who’s known me and my family FOREVER and still refused to call in a prescription without seeing me even though I get sinus infections constantly,

You suck.

Dear leftover Augmentin RX I found in cabinet with enough pills for 7 days,

I love you!

Dear Postman,

I don’t understand why, when I fill out a carrier pick-up form, I have to say things like, please ring the doorbell and WAIT AT THE DOOR for me to bring you my package.  You are required to wait a full minute or two, and should not be ringing the doorbell and immediately turning and walking down the path.  It would also be appreciated if you know that you’re going to be ringing my doorbell, that you probably should hold onto the mail rather than throwing it through the door’s mail slot, requiring me to pick all the shit up before I open the door, requiring me to run you down the path so I can give you my package.

Grade: You suck.

Dear Tumblr,

Why you no let me save password so i don’t have to retype it every.  single. time.

Dear Yahoo,

You know I don’t like change. Why, Yahoo, why?

Dear Christmas Tree,

I wish you could walk yourself into my house.  Bonus points if you could decorate yourself.

Dear Amazon,

You don’t require me to leave my house.  There’s nothing more to say.